


Favourite Thing

by cottontale



Series: I and Love and You [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: AU, Anxiety, Asexuality, Eventual Smut, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Shy Makoto, introverted Haru, stutter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 09:01:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottontale/pseuds/cottontale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Your Protector'.</p><p>"It's okay," Makoto brought Haru closer, closing his eyes. "I fell in love with you not despite your stutter and anxiety, but because of them. Every single day you remind me to be brave, to love people anyway. And I can't thank you enough." </p><p>Something stirred within Haru's chest at his words. So he smiled through the tears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I strongly advise you first read 'Your Protector'. This probably wont make any sense without it. :)

They fell in bed together. 

The softness of the sheets broke their fall, bouncing and then settling. Makoto cradled Haru's flushed face and gave him a sweet kiss. He pulled away with a sigh and a goofy smile. Haru felt his heart pound and his stomach roil at the sight. Makoto's green eyes were bright, gentle, and full of happy tears. The overwhelming atmosphere was making it hard for him to breathe, but he didn't entirely mind. Just laying next to his boyfriend was enough to remind him how to inhale and then exhale. 

Makoto laughed, joyous, musical, and his whole body seemed to shake with his happiness. Haru could feel his cheeks strain, smiling so hard, the muscles so unused to the action. Makoto turned to look at him and gasped. Reaching out, he pressed his thumbs in the dimples in Haru's cheeks. Despite the sweetness of the gesture, Haru felt incredibly embarrassed. He stopped smiling and felt rather than heard Makoto pout. He had closed his eyes. 

Without saying anything, Makoto pulled him closer, resting his chin atop Haru's head. Tucked beneath his chin, Haru could feel Makoto's heart jackrabbit against his chest, and his ribs expand. The simple _miracle_ of his breathing left Haru on the edge of tears. He was so lucky. He was so blessed to have someone as incredible as Makoto. Someone so patient, thoughtful, kind, and gentle. His strong arms and broad back felt like a blanket--warm, soft, and safe. 

He was beginning to hyperventilate. Too much of a good thing was still too much.  

Haru pulled away slowly, pushing against Makoto's chest. He felt the hardness of his muscles and wondered how in the world he managed to maintain such a physique.  He was a literature major and business minor, with a full time job. 

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked, noticing how Haru had stopped moving. He looked down, brows furrowed. "You okay?"

Haru swallowed, liking the view of Makoto looking down to him. 

"I'm f-fine." He pushed him away again and Makoto, like always, let him. 

Still too happy to question why Haru wanted space, but willing to indulge him, Makoto rolled onto his back, removing his arms. He let out a huge sigh whilst smiling. Haru watched him and suddenly uncomfortable, he sat up. 

"I'll go mmmmake some t-tea." He jumped off the mattress quickly, to avoid questions. Makoto frowned, but stayed silent. He couldn't quite read Haru completely yet. 

Leaning against the counter, Haru took deep breaths. Oh no. What was he going to do? He didn't want to face the problem and he didn't know how, but questions would soon begin to arise anyway. He couldn't ask Makoto. There was absolutely  _no_ way he'd ask Rin.

For the first time in three months, Haru felt alone again. 

To busy himself, he put on the kettle, snapping the stove buttons in place. He brought out two mugs and placed the tea bags in each, not paying attention to which kinds they were. Athena rubbed against his ankles, making him nearly knock over the cups. She mewed, hoping for treats. 

"N-No." He told her, looking down. Her white belly was rubbing the floor, tail twitching lazily. 

Looking around the kitchen, he paused. This would be his kitchen soon. He didn't like the colors, he didn't like the fridge, he didn't like the tile. He walked to the living room and tried to even out his breathing. The living room would be his too. It was so small, so neutral, so... unfamiliar. 

"I-I have to gggo!" Haru yelled out, hearing the mattress springs cringe. "B-Bye!" 

He didn't stay for his usual goodbye kiss. He forgot the tea and didn't stay to watch Makoto's face crumble. 

-

His stomach twisted almost painfully. A spike of heat shot through his body, toes curling. It wasn't a good feeling.

Only two days had passed since they had agreed to take the next step: moving in together. As exciting as the prospect sounded, he concluded that maybe he had been caught up in the moment. Makoto had overwhelmed him, unknowingly of course. He said he loved him, cherished him, wanted to be with him everyday. And he absolutely felt the same--he just didn't... couldn't do it. He was beginning to notice the baser feelings inside and he didn't know what to do. 

Haru stood in his apartment, shaking, trembling, breath coming in short gasps. He sat down, hugging his knees. The anxiety attacks pissed him off. He was twenty-three years old, living on his own, had an amazing boyfriend, and caring friends. He should be happy, healthy, and definitely not sitting on the floor like a mess. What was he doing wrong? Was he missing some step into adulthood? Why was he still on the floor, gasping for air, crying?  
-

The cafe was, thankfully, barren. Makoto leaned on the counters, a book in hand. The exams before spring break were nearing closer and he didn't have time outside of work to study. _The Brothers Karamazov_ was a very thick, very confusing book. Dostoevsky always made him think to the point of migraines, but right now, he couldn't focus. Haru hadn't called or shown up in two days. Normally, he would have been flipping out. But he didn't have time to properly worry.

He trusted his boyfriend to call him, or send him a text for help. Haru seemed fine, the night he asked if he'd like to move in together. They went to bed together happy, curling around each other, whispering soft 'I love you's. If anything, it was perfect. But then Haru left suddenly and he woke up to an empty bed, with an empty heart. Haru usually carried it for him.

The lines on the page were blurring. He didn't understand, the Russian names confusing him. He put down the nearly eight-hundred page novel and heaved a sigh. Nitori, who had been cleaning counters, looked to him.

"Um, is everything alright?" He asked, watching Makoto carefully stash his Russian literature underneath the counter.

"I think so." Makoto answered, but he doubted his response immediately. The situation was so similar to earlier in the year, where Haru would disappear for weeks at a time. Two days seemed fine. He knew Haru liked to be alone sometimes, to recharge. He didn't mind much, missing him and going to bed only to have a restless night.

"Are you sure?" Nitori pressured, very cautious. Makoto looked torn between panic and stress. "Is it about Haru?"

Makoto snapped his head up, eyes desperate.

"Yes." He admitted, "I haven't seen or heard from him in two days. I'm really worried." Nitori didn't really understand, but he nodded anyway. "I... I sort of asked him to move in with me."

His fellow barista raised his eyebrows, shocked. His mouth was open in a surprised 'o', but he quickly snapped his jaws together.

"Oh! Uh, did he say no then?"

Makoto shook his head and slumped back against the counter.

"He said yes." He tried to smile, but the effort wasn't worth it. His reason to smile wasn't there with him. "Do, um, you think I'm moving too fast?"

Nitori felt completely out of place. As shocking as the thought of the two moving together was, he wasn't repulsed. In fact, the idea seemed fitting.

"Maybe," He answered honestly, "But the important thing is that he said yes. Maybe he just needs time to say goodbye to his apartment. Didn't he live there with his grandmother?"

Makoto felt like an idiot. "He did! Oh no, what was I thinking?" He felt like taking his book and smacking himself on the head repeatedly. Of course Haru would need time. The apartment was a place of safety. The apartment was the a huge book, holding pages of memories of his grandmother. He wouldn't be alright with just leaving it, even if he was with Makoto.

"It's okay!" Nitori hurriedly shouted, "Don't freak out, he would have to leave eventually. It helps you'll be together, that you'll be with him."

The reminder of the happiness to come helped minutely.

The cafe door twinkled and Makoto slowly went back to work, spilling more drinks than he made.

-

"Oh thank God!" Makoto threw his arms around his boyfriend, who flinched in surprise. "I was so worried." He nuzzled his face in Haru's neck, stomach finally settling.

"W-What's going onnn?" Haru, confused, stiffened and slowly pushed him away.

Makoto looked up, frowning. "You've been crying." Haru looked away, itching to get away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

Haru didn't reply, but simply kept looking to the side.

"Haru..." Makoto drew out his name pathetically, "Your eyes are a little red." He added, but wished he hadn't. Haru tried to break their embrace. "No wait, please, just a little longer." Makoto put his head back on his shoulder, chin bumping Haru's collarbone. Haru swallowed thickly and slowly relaxed, wondering how his giant of a boyfriend could curl in so small.

"M-Makoto," Haru interrupted, "W-why were you wwworried?"

"You left so suddenly and then you didn't show up for days! I'm sorry for asking you so suddenly, we don't have to if you don't want to." 

Alarm bells ringing inside his head, Haru desperately tried to think about the subject at hand instead of what the sentence could mean. He saw the opportunity to escape the uncomfortable decision. Makoto was giving him a way out. But... his hopeful, beautiful face reminded him of the new memories he could make. 

"N-No, I want to." He swallowed, easing himself out of Makoto's hug, "Sorry. I just... had some t-things to work thro-ugh." 

He was lying to his boyfriend and he felt like trash. With one last, heart breaking squeeze, Makoto let go. He kissed his forehead and Haru's heart further shattered. 

"Okay, but if you change your mind, don't hesitate to tell me." He smiled softly, "You're making a lot of new choices: going to school, moving in with me, leaving your parents behind for good... just let me know if it begins to grow too much." 

Haru let Makoto lead him to their (oh no, no, not yet) bedroom and sank on the mattress. The memories of what happened earlier sent a jolt of electricity through him. He sat up like he'd been burned. 

"I'm--uh, w-where's Athena? She hasn't gggggreeted m-me." Haru tried to cover up his panic, looking around the room, avoiding Makoto's surprised eyes. 

"Oh, um, she's in the bathroom, battling with an oven mit." 

When he opened the bathroom door, Athena flipped over the mit in surprise. Kneeling, Haru rubbed her head and back. He was swiped at in return. 

"Careful, she get's dangerous in the middle of battle." Makoto laughed, standing over Haru, leaning on the doorway. Haru forced himself to watch Athena murder the oven mit. "Come on, let's leave the goddess to her business. Wanna watch a movie?" He offered a hand and smile. Haru accepted, feeling ridiculous. He could be normal around Makoto. 

They set up a movie, sitting close on the couch. Breathing deeply, steadily, Haru watched the movie, but didn't pay attention. Makoto's fingers were rubbing his shoulder, arm behind him. Their thighs were pressed together and he could feel his heartbeat from under his arm. When the clock hit ten, he shot up despite the movie still running. 

"Oh right," Makoto said, warily, but smiled none-the-less. Haru dressed by the door, ignoring Makoto's worried looks. "Be safe." 

Makoto leaned in for a sweet kiss, like usual, but in his momentary panic, Haru moved. Makoto only kissed his cheek instead and Haru was out the door, practically running to the elevator. 

-

"Are relationships supposed to be this hard?" Makoto whined, pouting while he scrubbed the counter. Nagisa had spilled the caramel and lacked the decency to clean it up before he clocked out. 

Gou slowly turned and smiled sweetly. "Yes," She answered, "If you're doing it right, it'll be difficult." 

He groaned and gave up on the mess. "Why? Why can't they just be perfect and sunshine and daisies? I mean, I asked Haru to move in with me and he said yes!" He gesturedly wildly, rag still in hand. Gou watched him ramble, amused. "But then something happened, or at least I think something happened and he keeps avoiding me. I know he needs his space and all, but..." He stopped. 

"What?" Gou asked, looking to see if Haru was there and Makoto snapped his mouth shut for that reason. Nobody was there. 

"I just... I miss him." He sighed and tossed the rag to the sink. "I'm so busy with school and here I am freaking out because Haru avoided my kiss last night." 

"Wait, he avoided it?" Gou leaned forward, pocketing her hands in her apron. "Were you in public?" 

"No! We were at home, watching a movie. He usually leaves around 10, but stays if the movie is almost over. But he just shot up like a pop tart and I leaned down to kiss him," Makoto leaned down to Gou. Her eyes widened and he hastily backed up, "S-Sorry! Yeah um, I leaned down to kiss him and he moved so I only kissed his cheek." 

"Maybe... maybe he's just shy because now you'll spend all this time together." She offered, trying not to laugh at Makoto's metaphor of Haru being a pop tart.

"Ugh, I was going to invite him to my parent's for spring break, but now I think I'll wait." He poked the register, opened the cash box and closed it again. He repeated the action until Gou grabbed his hand. 

"Okay, stop, that's annoying. And I don't think you're supposed to mess with it unless you have a costumer." She crossed her arms when he turned towards her. "Why not just ask him? He'll talk to you... at least he should. Just don't let it fester. You know how he is. He won't say anything until he absolutely cannot take it anymore." 

Makoto huffed, but nodded. He just hoped Haru was okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day! Thank you so much for continuing on from 'Your Protector'. Let me know what you think. :)
> 
> And I know I sort of just jump into it, but this is a direct sequel, so the plot just keeps on going. Also, I'm super hesitant about writing anything nsfw, but I will. It'll probably be bare minimum until Haru and Makoto are more comfortable (we'll see).
> 
> Also, the title is from the song, 'Favourite Thing' by Yuna. This song inspired the story of 'Your Protector'. Seems fitting it should conclude this adventure.
> 
> More tags eventually! Thanks for sticking with me. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoaaa 100+ kudos just on the first chapter. *blushes* you guys are so great, omfg.
> 
> Also very short chapter because I'm dumb and didn't outline a lot of this fic ugh, but its mostly just fluff until we get to the BIG conversations and plot. (sorry, I'll update faster next time)

Haru felt better. He was sitting alone in his apartment, just happy to have some breathing room. He never could think when Makoto was around. 

 _A Tale of Two Cities_ sat by his toes, a healthy reminder. He couldn't help but smile into his knees, curling into his happiness. He'd be okay. He was just overwhelmed by the changes to come and needed some space. Moving in together was a huge step and honestly, he couldn't wait. Makoto made him happy, gave him a reason to get out of bed, to continue on despite how much the world seemed to be against him. And Athena was an annoying, but adorable bonus. 

His socked feet slid out, so he stretched. But that wasn't all he was worried about. He hadn't truly noticed Makoto until of late. He'd fallen for his quirks, his rambling conversations, his cute latte drawings... now he was quickly drowning in his image. How had he not noticed how broad his shoulders were? Or the size of his hands? Green eyes had first captured him, reeling him in, and now they weren't letting go. 

He took a deep breath and willed himself to calm down. Makoto was just too perfect, in every way. It didn't help to think of his size, eyes, or lips. 

 _Crap_.

-

"So... you've been quiet. I'm not sure if I should be concerned or happy that you're not throwing pillows at the wall again." 

Rin gave his boyfriend an annoyed, but amused glare. 

"I knew it'd happen sooner or later," The redhead admitted, cheeks heating, "With the way they're so smitten." He scrunched up his nose. He never thought he'd use the word 'smitten' in this life time. 

Nitori laughed into his hand, "Great word choice. But seriously, you're okay with this? You nearly started WWIII before they even started dating." 

"Of course I'm not okay with it," Rin snapped, "Who knows what will happen? Haru likes being alone and having space... and Makoto doesn't have any concept of personal space." 

"True," Nitori shrugged, laying down, putting his head in Rin's lap. His boyfriend had a constipated look in his face. "Though, with how well things are going between them, I'm having a hard time imagining them ever breaking up. They're just so... in love." 

Ah. He'd said it. 

Nitori turned his head away from Rin's stomach, to look over his knees. His face slowly glowing pink. 

Rin shifted underneath him, clearing his throat. "Yeah, they probably wont." His voice was an octave higher, causing Nitori's heart rate to spike. 

When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned. Rin looked uncomfortable, but determined. 

"You know," He started, but cut off. Nitori rolled over in his lap, eyes big and cheeks red. "Er, I forgot what I was going to say." 

He couldn't help it. Nitori burst out laughing, bringing up a hand to his mouth. 

"You have such a way with words." He giggled into the back of hand before swallowing. He sat up and twisted, an inch from Rin's lips. He waited, asking silent permission. 

It was one of the things he loved about Rin. He was loud, opinionated, and had no problem defending what or who he loved. He was shit at feelings though. He'd usually initiate their kisses, but whenever Nitori made a move, he'd freeze up. It was way too adorable. 

Blood rushing in his ears, Nitori closed his eyes and leaned forward. Rin didn't pull away, so he hummed happily against his lips. 

Damn. He really loved his emotionally constipated boyfriend. He just couldn't find the words to tell him. So he pressed harder.

-

The cafe was blissfully busy, keeping his mind occupied. Makoto traded off drinks with Nagisa and Gou, working around them. They nearly had a flawless system. Makoto would take the register, Nagisa would pump syrups and steam milk, and Gou would mix and finish them off. Because Valentines Day was soon, their decorations were in a permanent stage of pink, red, and frilly. It hurt his eyes, but mostly, it upset his stomach. 

"Mako-chan!" Nagisa chirped, pumping two good squirts beside his elbow, "We're nearly out. Can you get some from the back? I'll take the register." 

"Sure." He mumbled and had to lift his arm so Gou could make it past him with a steaming up of coffee. 

The kitchen was empty and silent, a much needed barrier between the chaos outside. He loved to work, using his hands, to have something to focus on, but the constant reminder of Valentines Day wasn't helping. He had about a week and had no clue what to do. It would be his first holiday with Haru, and of course it happened to be the most 'romantic'. 

He grabbed the appropriate syrup and willed his stomach to calm down. Valentines Day wasn't anything special. Why should he act any different from any other day? 

"Oh there you are," Gou heaved a sigh, "Please restrain Nagisa. He wont listen to me. He keeps making horrible puns." She stood on her toes, whispering. Makoto had to bend down anyway. "And they're encouraging him." 

Makoto looked to the front, watching Nagisa crack up and pound the counter. The college guys around him howled with laughter. 

"Wait, wait, I got another one," The blond wheezed and wiped the tears from his eyes, "If you spent too much time in the coffee shop, you'll be latte for work!" 

The college guys all collectively cringed and laughed, "That's so terrible!" 

Holding in his laughter, because wow that was actually pretty funny (but he feared Gou more), Makoto nudged Nagisa out of the way. With a smile and an apology, he took their orders. They all ordered lattes. 

When the rush hour died down to about a costumer every ten minutes, Makoto exhaled. His eyes were burning, he was getting so tired. His contacts itched and he just wanted to go home. The pink around him was beginning to irritate him to no end. 

"Sooooo," Nagisa sang, wiping up his messes, "Do you have any Valentines Day plans, yet Mako-chan?" 

Great. Just what he wanted to talk about. 

"No." He answered, looking to Gou for help. She was her crossing her arms, glaring out the window. "What about you and Rei?" 

Brightening, Nagisa tossed the rag over his shoulder. Makoto watched it sail over Gou's head (thank  _God_ ) and land on the edge of the sink. 

"Oh yes!" He said, beaming, "Well, I have a surprise for Rei, I don't know about him."

"That's nice," Makoto offered, rubbing his eyes. His hands smelled like coffee beans, so he pulled them away, frowning. "Have you seen Haru lately?" 

The blond shook his head, "Nope! Why, has he been gone?" 

Makoto shrugged and found himself staring at a pink laced heart on the wall. It was the size of his head.

"Uhh, well, he's just been a little off lately. And I know he's a pretty passive person, but I can't help worrying." He didn't want to load all his problems on his friends, but out of everyone, Nagisa had been dating the longest. "Do you have any idea why he might be avoiding me?" 

Nagisa shrugged, "Not really. Haru-chan is a really quiet person. Maybe he just wants some space before you move in together." He leaned on the counter, "Maybe you're just overreacting. Who knows, unless you ask him." 

Checking the clock, Makoto saw he had another hour before his shift ended. He spent the rest of his time making up conversation between him and Haru, hoping to figure out what he did wrong.

-

When he opened the door to his apartment, he was equally pleased and surprised to find Haru on his couch. Athena was purring on his lap, soaking in the attention. Makoto took a moment to appreciate the scene. Haru was looking at Athena, rubbing her ribs, eyes soft. But when he spotted an earring in his left ear, his stomach dropped. 

He closed to door, louder than necessary and dropped his jacket near the coat closet. Haru looked up, shocked at the noise. 

"Hey," Makoto said, trying not to stare at the earring. "How was your day?"

"F-Fine." Haru looked away, standing up, putting Athena on the floor. She mewed pathetically. "Your's?"

Makoto shrugged, stepping closer. "Better now." 

Haru looked away again, but let Makoto come closer. "You always say that." His cheeks were pink again. 

"It's true though," He inched closer, giving Haru time to pull away. "Um, can I kiss you?" 

Makoto's eyes were shining, hopeful but cautious. Haru's heart was torn--he desperately wanted to, but he didn't trust himself to stop if Makoto deepened the kiss. Seeing Makoto shy away when he didn't respond, Haru surged forward, grabbing him around the middle. 

They hugged for a minute, Makoto relaxing slightly. Haru pulled away and closed his eyes. Makoto met him halfway, smiling into the sweet kiss. They were okay. 

"Oh, you wouldn't believe the puns Nagisa came up with today." 

And just like that, Haru felt better. Makoto picked up a whining Athena and let Haru hold his hand as they walked into the kitchen. He was vaguely listening to the coffee puns ("Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky. That was my favorite."), watching Athena wiggle in his arms. Oh no, he had on a t-shirt that cut off in the middle of his bicep. Christ, how were they so big? 

"Um, are you okay?" Makoto squeezed his hand, shifting Athena to lay on his chest and shoulder. "You seem a bit out of it." 

"F-Fine," He answered, gripping his hand back in reassurance. He was fine, he just needed something to occupy his thoughts. "What wwwwere you saying?" 

"Never mind," Makoto said instead and pulled Haru to the couch, "Are you sure?" He didn't want to point at the earring, but the accessory was bothering him. Hadn't Haru gotten rid of them? 

Haru sat a good foot away and unclasped their hands. Athena shot off Makoto's shoulder, running to their bedroom. Haru wanted to run and grab her, to avoid the subject.

"I'm just n-nervous about the move is all." It was a half-truth, again, he felt horrible. "I-It's a big sssstep. But I'm excited t-too." 

"Okay, well, you can tell me anything if something does bother you. If I'm doing something you're uncomfortable with, tell me." He scratched the back of his head, "I've lived with a lot different people and we didn't all get along. But we learned pretty quickly what bothered us and what didn't." 

Smiling into his arm, Haru pulled up his knees. 

"No, it's not y-you." _Though it kind of totally is, in an abstract, round-a-bout way_. 

Makoto nodded, letting Haru have his space. He stood, "I'll make some tea. It's still pretty cold out." 

Sitting back on the couch, Haru huffed. This was going to be harder than he originally thought. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 changed the chapter text edit thingy and it makes me so uncomfortable ew ew ew ew
> 
> you can catch me on tumblr btw: [here](foxicology.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am in love and out of it, I will not go." -C.S. Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised nsfw later on, but this was necessary. Haru needed that extra comfort and Makoto needed Haru's assurance. Looks like Haru became Makoto's protector. ;)

There was something wrong. 

He knew Haru was uncomfortable still, despite insisting the move was on his mind, along with the jitters accompanying idea. But he wasn't completely convinced. Why would he put back in an earring if he was okay? He gave him plenty of opportunities to turn back, to change his mind about taking the next big step. Was he doing something wrong? But... he trusted Haru to tell him. 

Beneath his arm, Haru slumped into his side. Haru's ears were still pink, a common occurrence now, but he seemed exhausted. He breathed deeply, measured, in rhythm with Makoto. Smiling despite himself, Makoto wiggled, bringing him closer. Haru let himself be curled in further, but Makoto had felt his hesitation. His breathing had hitched, muscles tensing, before Makoto stopped his pulling. So he was doing something wrong.

Tearing his attention from the movie in front of them, Makoto looked to his boyfriend. Haru's eyes were alert, slightly red, and watery. His hands were locked in his lap and he was no longer relaxed. Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Makoto grabbed the remote. He hit pause. He had enough of this. He'd fix it.

"What's wrong?" He said, voice gentle. Haru, beneath him, tensed even tighter. "Please, Haru, I'm doing something wrong. Just tell me."

His boyfriend closed his eyes, biting his lips. The action broke Makoto's heart.

"I'm sorry!" Makoto hurriedly said, "I'm sorry if I'm making you do something you don't want to do. I'm sorry that I asked you to move in with me, when you're hesitant about it. Just... please Haru. Let me fix what I did." He took a shaky breath, "You don't have to move in with me. Why don't we just wait? Forget I asked." 

Mortified and scared, Haru pressed his face into Makoto's chest. He could feel the tears rising up, his throat tight. Makoto's heart was pounding and Haru loved the sound.

"N-n-no," He said, taking a hand and bunched it in his boyfriend's shirt. His knees were practically in Makoto's lap. "D-Don't. Apologize. I--" His words were taking their time, stuttering out between breaths, "I-It's m-me." 

"What? Haru, I don't un--"

"I don't k-k-know how to t-tell you." Haru cut him off, still burying his face in Makoto's chest. "I don't w-want you to hate mmmme."

Scared by Haru's words, Makoto pulled away and grabbed his hands. Haru tried to yank them back in shock, to bring them back to his lap, but Makoto didn't let go.

"Haru, I'd never hate you." His voice was serious, firm, shocked, "I love you more than anything. Please, what's wrong? I'll listen for however long it takes for you to find the right words."

Makoto's answer tugged at Haru's heartstrings, a sharp, joyful pain. He felt ridiculous. He felt like he should hide. He looked away.

"I-I-I," How could he say it? It was too embarrassing, too disgusting. "I w-want yyyyou."

Makoto didn't understand. He could see the tears edging in the corner's of Haru's eyes, his flushed face, could feel his hands shaking in his grip, but he  _didn't understand_. 

"What?"  

Haru's face was so red, he could feel his skin start to sweat. Makoto's green eyes were so close all the oxygen in the air seemed to disappear. He couldn't say anything, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't even really want to try. But his boyfriend's worries needed to be assuaged and smoothed. He was being selfish.  

"Take your time," Makoto reminded him, voice gentle, lips soft. He caressed the side of Haru's temple with his mouth, wishing more than anything he could read his mind. "But I need to know." 

He knew that. He absolutely agreed, but his stutter was winning today and his anxiety was crawling up his spine, a sinister tickle like a nail digging into his skin. His throat wasn't responding, narrow and brittle. Tears fell on his checks, the only balm through the moment. He'd grown to love crying. Crying meant it was almost over. He'd been through worse and the end was soon. 

For five minutes, he silently cried into Makoto's shoulder, grateful beyond words for his patience and steady rhythm of strokes. Down his shoulders and vertebrae, Makoto's fingers brought him back from the edge of near hysteria and numbing misery. He was so miserable in his head, in his body, he just wanted to  _get out_. 

How could he word it? His desire was thick, crushing, pushing him to nearly succumb under his sheets whenever he was alone. But he hated that. He wanted Makoto so much, that he wasn't willing to have a quick fix. He was greedy. He wanted Makoto and only him. 

But the humiliation wasn't easy to overcome. 

"I-I feel terrible," Haru managed to stem the tears, but his mouth was thick, wet, nose dangerously close to resembling a waterfall. "B-But I love yyyou and I c-can't stop thinking about y-you." 

Makoto didn't say anything, but continued to rub circles into his back. Haru let out a watery, trembling exhale. He was thankful Makoto was being quiet. 

"I love yyyyour eyes, how they're s-so bright, k-k-kind and ccccrinkle when you're happy. I love w-when you look at mmme, my stomach g-gets all weird and t-then I imagine us i-in bed and I'm j-just--" He had to take a breath, heart thrashing, bruising against his ribs. "I'm so  _in_  l-love with you and I don't eeeever want to g-get  _out_  of it."  

The only reason he hadn't fled or screamed or broken apart completely was because of Makoto. He hadn't paused his soothing strokes along his spine or his sweet, reassuring kisses against his temple, cheek, and ear. He was so incredibly gone and swept away, he could hardly remember his own name. What did it matter, though? 

"Y-You have bewitched m-me, body and soul." Makoto's breathing hitched, tears finally falling, landing on Haru's head. "And I love, I-I love, I love yyyou." 

He finished the  _Pride and Prejudice_ quote in his head and heart, knowing Makoto was doing the same. And when Makoto slipped a hand under his chin, raising his head to press their lips together, he knew Makoto finally understood. 

The kiss was different. Their mindset was switched--from innocence, honeymoon love, to long suffering and understanding. There was a mutual idea shared through the kiss, a promise, and Haru could finally let his stomach unclench. Makoto felt the same way, if not more. 

Makoto pulled him fully into his lap, still crying. Haru would feel his boyfriend's tears lightly tap against his own cheeks, mixing in with his. No longer though was he crying out of fear and the feeling was otherworldly. 

He put his arms around Makoto's shoulders, shoving his hips forward. He could feel his boyfriend's stomach contract and push back, eager to feel as much as he could. His heart was still throbbing, but the pain felt so right, that he knew he found what he needed. 

Placing his large, warm hands on Haru's waist, Makoto pushed harder. Haru opened his mouth, ready to invite Makoto in and never stop. He knew in the back of his mind that he should probably be panicking or at least asking what Haru wanted--he was a virgin. He should tell Haru. But words seemed unnecessary. The overwhelming thought of having no idea how two men made love didn't make him pause either. He doubted anything could stop him now. 

His chest was hollow, ready to be filled. And he intended to take as much as he could. He, too, was greedy. 

"Oh Haru," Makoto whined in his mouth, sounding wrecked. "I love you too. So much, more than you'll ever know." 

Spurred on, knowing that he wouldn't be pushed away, Haru danced on his boyfriend's lap. An answering gasp and low moan encouraged him to keep up the rhythm. He knew the mechanics. He'd done his research, he wasn't so innocent as to be clueless going into the next step of their relationship, but the burning humiliation was still there. 

He hated labels. He was titled as 'virgin' and society scorned him for his choices. But as he kept grinding down on Makoto, he subtly raised his middle finger at the wall before diving his hands into his hair. Right now, his love was enough to soothe his anxieties. And holy  _fuck_ he felt so free. 

Losing the battle of holding back, Haru took over the kiss. A spike of heat slammed into Makoto at the action and he moaned, elated, high, into the wet kiss. 

But Makoto pulled away and immediately assuaged Haru's second-guesses by grabbing his rear and kneeding the flesh. He felt so out of his element, but he didn't ever want to leave. 

"Wait," Makoto voiced. He sounded like he'd been running for 100 miles, "I-I want you to know." 

Haru could feel himself toeing the edge of bliss and sanity. But he stayed for Makoto's sake, even if a flash of annoyance crossed his mind. He didn't want to stop. He had been so free. 

"T-This is my first time." Makoto's cheeks, which had been a pleasant flush, darkened. He looked sunburnt and fried, eyes bright, tears still slowly creeping out. 

"Me too." Haru almost sang, he was so happy he hadn't stuttered. This was incredibly important. "So let's r-remember this." 

Without waiting for any more words, because really, he doubted he'd be able to put together sentences at this point, Haru pushed down on Makoto's still massaging hands. The pressure was making tiny white fireworks dance behind his eyelids. Replacing shame with acceptance and love, Haru found Makoto's lips again and non-verbally told him he loved him, over and over again. 

Time was forgotten and only measured by how much Makoto's said his name. Five times, ten, twenty if Haru could keep himself off Makoto's lap long enough to count. But he wasn't too preoccupied to care, as long as Makoto kept on saying his name. 

Haru licked inside his mouth, loving how despite working in a coffee shop, Makoto tasted like strawberries and of a spice that made his own mouth water. The spice was sharp, warm, and entirely Makoto, that he'd never taste it again unless he was inside Makoto. A shock of heat burned in his stomach of the words. Oh god, how badly he wanted to connect with Makoto, to fully complete each other, to sink into passion together. 

Makoto, having picked up on the cue of Haru's increased pace over his lap, stood. Strong, steady, and sinking, Makoto carried Haru to their bedroom, holding him up by the back of his thighs. Haru inhaled sharply when Makoto crossed the threshold and for an insane minute, he imagined them in suits, wedding bands on their left hands. 

Gently, he was laid on the mattress, but a loud mew of protest made him trip. Athena grumbled as she ran out of the room, upset she had been squashed. They laughed together, foreheads pressed and noses touching. All nervousness was replaced with delight at how easy they were around each other. Still on top of Haru, Makoto took the opportunity to trail bites and kisses down his neck. Haru was still laughing, but his bursts of giggles were sometimes interrupted with pleasured whines. He loved being smothered with affection. 

Stomach flipping at the sound of Haru's laugh and the sight of his deep dimples, Makoto sucked hard over his collarbone. Haru yipped between a giggle, and bit down on his lip, hips thrusting upwards without a second rational thought. And for the first time, Haru felt a similar hardness between Makoto's legs. He lost his breath. 

Licking over the red mark, but insanely pleased to see the wet spot, Makoto smiled. He found Haru's lips again and greeted his hips again. The delicious pressure wove a tiny heat, spreading and aching. He wanted to take off his clothes, be completely ravished by Haru's dancing, grinding, and Fitzwilliam Darcy quotes. 

Pushing up on his elbows, Haru snaked a leg over Makoto's hip, guiding him to lay down. Without hesitation, Makoto spread out on the sheets, and for the life of him, he couldn't remember what color they were. Haruka Nanase had stolen his eyes and he honestly didn't care if he ever got them back. He'd gladly look at his flushed, beautiful face every second of every day. 

Seeing Makoto offer himself and accept Haru's wishes without a word made his heart skip a beat. He felt like he wasn't even limited to his body anymore. Makoto's pupils were blown wide, a ring of the soft green turned to greed. He wouldn't have it any other way. 

He leaned forward, rolling his hips to connect and the blinding friction tore deep moans out of both of them. He vaguely felt Makoto's light fingertips lift his shirt and throw it across the room, along with his own. When his fingers dipped into his pants, he let out a shuttering breath and felt tears prickle his waterline. He knew what was coming and he was anxious. Haru reassured Makoto with a slow kiss and brushed a finger down his belly. 

Makoto's tan belly was fit with just enough softness that Haru felt like giggling. Everything about Makoto was adorable. His chest was heaving, pulsing rising and rising with each inch he lowered Haru's pants. He left on his briefs, not so bold as to assume Haru was comfortable just yet to allow such stark nudity and vulnerability. 

Haru kicked off his pants, completely aware of the wet spot on his briefs, but he was much more concerned with Makoto's state of dress. He glanced to his boyfriend's eyes for permission and with a short nod and nervous burst of laughter, Haru unbutton his jeans. They slide down his thighs, waving over his knees, to pool at his ankles. Makoto shook them, toeing his socks off in the process to join their clothes on the floor. 

"I love you," Haru hummed, crawling up the bed, pulling Makoto to the pillows. "B-But my words aren't--" He swallowed, distracted when Makoto's knee brushed his erection, "T-they aren't e-enough." 

Makoto nodded, understanding. He felt the same. 

Upon realizing how unprepared they both were for the act, Haru felt his heart stutter like his words. He wasn't experienced and neither was Makoto. They didn't have condoms or lube and that was just an absolute no. He wouldn't let their first time hurt so much that Makoto looked back with a grimace and a gentle lie of 'No, it was amazing'. So he simply rubbed their hips together, letting himself drown in his boyfriend and the pleasure. 

-

They lay in bed together, curled, glued, and quiet. Makoto had cleaned them up and proceeded to shower Haru in so many small kisses, that a new discovery was made: Haru was extremely ticklish. Managing to paw away anymore of Makoto's advances, Haru nuzzled deeper into his shoulder. 

He felt light, weightless, and tired. The mattress seemed extra comfortable and warm, Athena banished from the room so they'd actually be able to cuddle. 

Anxiety nowhere to be found, Haru hummed lightly against Makoto's collarbone. 

"Love you," He mumbled, too exhausted to say more. He didn't register that his stutter was no longer present. 

Makoto pulled him closer, nose pressed into his hair. The smell of dusty books and chocolate made him faller even further down the rabbit hole. He was so in love he couldn't breathe. And it was perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was so... freeing to write. I had a really tough week and I just couldn't bring myself to finish this chapter. Every time I started it, I would just start shaking and delete everything. But I finally found my rhythm and I'm super happy with how this turned out. Let me know how you think everything went. 
> 
> Yep, my own fic gave me an anxiety attack... like what the fuck? 
> 
> Anyway, I am taking a two week hiatus to finish up other fics and just rest. I have a busy week ahead and I can't wait to just relax and not worry about finishing another chapter on time (as I'm already sooo good at that). Love you all so much, thank you so much for bearing with me and this little story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Courage, dear heart." -C.S. Lewis

They woke in each other's arms, bare chests and bellies touching. Haru waited for the crushing wave of sickness to settle in his stomach, but it never came. He was so warm, so tired, so safe. Smiling into his boyfriend's embrace, he basked in the affection. Makoto kissed his head when he realized he was awake, but didn't speak. The silence was welcoming, comfortable, and something Haru wasn't ready to break yet. Time felt slow, as if moving through molasses and he didn't want to speed it up ever again. 

As he lay there, he remembered their kisses, touches, and confessions. His cheeks heated, but pleasantly. They had connected on a whole other level and nothing about it had been uncomfortable or wrong. Touching Makoto had felt so right, he wanted to do it again. He wanted to spread that pink blush again across his chest, up his neck, to settle on his cheeks. 

He remembered watching Makoto's muscles contract, shudder, clench with every type of pressure he provided. He remembered the sounds, the mewls, the gasps of love and bliss. Heating up, Haru snuggled closer, breathing in everything about his boyfriend. He was so in love, it was almost overwhelming. 

Almost. 

Humming into his chest, Haru wrapped his arms around Makoto's back and lazily dragged his fingertips down his shoulder blades. Giggling quietly at the tickling sensation, Makoto shifted his weight. He knew in the back of his mind he had work, still had yet to ask Haru to come visit his hometown with him, and school to worry about. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He was content and that was all that mattered. 

A small, almost broken meow cut through the relaxed silence. 

Haru looked up and their eyes met, before they broke out into laughter. For a few moments, they laughed and struggled to keep breathing. Athena continued to scratch and mew at the bathroom door, upset she was excluded from the cuddling and warm bed. 

"Sorry, Athena." Makoto said, still giggling. He kissed Haru smoothly before standing. The sheets slipped from his waist, revealing his naked body. Haru had to swallow and look away. His mouth had started to water. 

Unashamed, Makoto walked to the bathroom and opened the door. Athena bounded out, racing past his ankles and high-tailing it towards the kitchen. He followed after sighing heavily, dramatic.

"I'll make some coffee," He called back to Haru, who nodded and willed himself to calm down. They could share touches later. "Do you want something for breakfast?" 

Not one to yell, Haru stood, putting on the nearest shorts he could find (they were Makoto's, so he rolled them up three times). He joined his boyfriend in the kitchen, careful of the still upset Athena who ran around their feet, begging for food. 

"Sure," He answered Makoto's previous question, bending down to the fill Athena's bowl. "Anything is f-fine." 

"Great," Makoto said, opening a cabinet to take out coffee grinds and two mugs. "Um, well, I really only know how to make cereal and eggs if I'm lucky." 

Laughing silently, Haru shrugged. 

"Cereal s-sounds great." Smiling at his boyfriend, eyes gentle, Makoto fixed the coffee. 

Haru cleared his throat after a minute, Makoto's nakedness too much. Makoto looked down, yipped, and ran to change. Affection swirled in Haru's chest at the sounds and sight, watching after him. He smiled down at Athena, belly happy and hungry. 

Looking around the kitchen, he went through his mental list of what he didn't like and tried to think of the positive. At first, he had looked at the room and panicked. It would be their's and he wanted everything to be perfect. But really, the imperfections were what gave it personality, a story, memories to build. He could live with the tiles, the small space, Athena weaving through his ankles if he got to see Makoto every morning. 

"Sorry!" Makoto was bright red, but was smiling anyway. "So cereal?"

Haru nodded, crouching to rub Athena. She purred loudly and fell over purposefully, inviting him to scratch her everywhere. 

"Wow," Makoto commented, voice dripping with sarcasm, but his grin told of his happiness. "She's so ridiculous." 

Athena rolled on her back, belly wobbling, plump and fluffy, eyes holding a glint of playfulness. Haru carefully stood, to avoid the inevitable war. 

"So, Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Cheerios?" Haru pointed, amused Makoto had to ask. Haru grabbed bowl and the milk from the fridge, breathing in the smell of fresh coffee.

Pouring in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Makoto pushed Athena away with a foot as she wiggled to jump on the counter to inspect their food. 

They sat on the couch, each respectively pushing Athena away with their feet if she got too close. Haru pressed his side into Makoto's, so he lifted his arm to better cuddle. Happily, they ate their cereal and waited for the coffee to brew. 

"I have a short shift today," Makoto said, crunching his cereal. "So I'll be back around three. Nagisa has been begging for more hours lately." 

Haru nodded, slurping his own food. Athena swiped at his foot when he pushed her back. 

"You're welcome to stay here," He went on, watching Haru tease Athena. "I'm sure monster here would love the company." 

Claws caught in Haru's socks, Athena jumped and pulled. Carefully, Haru balanced his bowl and managed to help her out. 

"I'll stay." Haru said. 

"Great," Makoto finished his last bite and moved to get them coffee. "I wanted to ask you..." He cut off, walking into the kitchen. He set his cinnamon-y bowl into the sink and poured fresh coffee in each mug. He fixed them accordingly, with milk and sugar, before coming back out. 

"Ask me w-what?" 

"Um," He set down the mugs on the coffee table, cheeks reddening again. "I mean, you don't have to unless you want to. But for Spring Break, I was going to go home again. My family really wants to meet you." 

Haru nervously clacked his spoon against the bowl and set it down. He didn't trust himself not to spill the coffee, so he didn't pick up the steaming mug. 

"Oh." He hadn't meant for his voice to squeak, but it had and now he was embarrassed. Makoto didn't say anything, but sipped his coffee, stomach erupting in cinnamon butterflies. "Um I-I mean, I'd love t-to meet them." 

Makoto slowly put down his coffee, "It was my mom's idea. I told her about you and she kind of freaked because this is my first ever relationship and so she invited us to spend Spring Break. My brother and sister kind of flipped too and wont stop bugging me about it, so I thought why not?" He was rambling again and it was almost painful to hear his own words. 

"M-Makoto," Haru put a hand on his boyfriend's wrist. "I'll go, it's okay. I-I'd really lllike to meet them." 

Slowly, Makoto stopped chattering and settled, pulling Haru closer. 

"Okay... okay." 

-

"You're red, Mako-chan." Nagisa laughed, pointing to his best friend's flushed cheeks. Makoto, in surprise and embarrassment, fumbled the ice scoop. Ice dropped on the floor and slid down the counters. 

"Ah, dang it Nagisa." He muttered, wiping up his mess and trying not to step on the ice. "I'm aware, thanks." 

The blond laughed again at his expense. They had no costumers now that Makoto was finishing the last raspberry lemonade order, so he afford to pick on his coworker. Makoto bent down, apron and shirt leaning down with gravity. Nagisa gasped. 

"Is that... a hickey?" 

Makoto smacked his head on the counter and whined at the pain. Nagisa continued to gape, pointing again. 

"Oh my god, you did it." Nagisa whispered and felt his stomach roll. His best friend massaged his head and waved his hands wildly. 

"N-N-No! It's not like that," He insisted, but Nagisa's face was blank and turning pink as well. "Nagisa, honestly, we didn't. It's still... um, it's complicated." 

"What?" Nagisa turned his head, shocked. "You totally did! I can't believe it!" 

"Could you stop yelling?" Makoto hissed, looking over at the woman who was still waiting for her drink. "I'll explain in a second, let me finish this order." Considerably more red than when he started, Makoto turned to scoop more ice and shake together the lemonade. 

Nagisa held onto the corner, face warm, stomach upset. He never really had thought about sex. Sure, he vaguely understood the idea was there, expected really, yet everything with Rei was perfect without it. But now he was imagining Rei in bliss, kissing further down his face, neck, hand up his shirt. Bright red, Nagisa ran into the kitchen. All of that was so... adult. 

Makoto watched his best friend hide in the kitchen, eyes glazed and face mortified. 

"Here you go, enjoy. Sorry for the wait." He smiled has he handed the woman her drink, who thanked him and left the cafe. He turned to the kitchen doors, hesitating. Technically, he wasn't supposed to leave the front unmanned. A costumer could walk in, see nobody there and chose to leave, angry. But Nagisa was in the back, embarrassed. 

Taking one last look to the doors, finding nobody loitering outside, Makoto rushed through the doors to escape them shutting on his ankles. Nagisa was in a freezer, holding his head inside, probably cooling his cheeks. 

"Nagisa?" Makoto ventured, "We... we didn't. Um, h-have sex." 

Groaning in the freezer, Nagisa didn't move. 

"We weren't ready." He went on, putting a hand on Nagisa's shoulder. "Sorry. But why are you freaking out? You almost never get embarrassed." 

Shutting the door, Nagisa pouted. His eyes were wet and cheeks the color of cherries. 

"Just having a minor breakdown." He laughed and blinked rapidly. "No worries. I'm okay." 

Makoto jerked back in surprise, "Do you want to talk about it? I mean, um, if you want. Gou should clock in soon." 

Nagisa shook his head and gave him a watery smile. "No, it's alright. I'm okay."

"Right." Makoto patted him on the shoulder before hurrying out of the kitchen, to check the front. He didn't know what to say. Nagisa was usually so open and bright. He had never seen him so worried. 

Nobody was waiting, thank goodness, so Makoto continued to pick up the fast melting ice, casting the kitchen door worried looks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness. More Reigisa next time and Spring Break! *throws confetti*
> 
> Updates once a week now (if I can manage), I'm so busy with my other fics. Also, just a reminder: This fic will only be about 10 to 15 chapters, depending on if I manage to get everything I have planned done. It's just a small sequel to iron out the edges. ^^
> 
> You may see an abundance of Lewis quotes. He is in my top ten list of 'Best Men', next to G.K. Chesterton and Hugh Jackman lol


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Say it before it's too late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being so late! I'm busy irl and I got hit over the head with another fic idea.... just wonderful haha 
> 
> Anyway, I am going out of town for a couple weeks for a horse show so I won't be able to update/write anything for a while. So sorry, but I doubt I'll have time to even get on tumblr or reply to comments. But still, don't hesitate to ask a question or just say hi. I'll try my best to get on :)
> 
> Also, a lovely friend made a playlist for Your Protector! You should listen, it's wonderful! Listen [here](https://8tracks.com/curlykarli/your-protector)!

Tomorrow was Spring Break and despite the nice reprieve Rei would earn, Nagisa was nervous. 

His boyfriend was everything he lacked and more. Rei held onto the strings keeping Nagisa grounded whenever he decided to leave earth (so constantly), but right now, he wanted his strings back to hold onto and never let see the light. He was vulnerable around Rei and as much as he was in love, he wasn't ready to make the next move. Did he even want to? 

Sex was a huge thing. Sex with Rei was something even larger. He had just assumed he'd grow into the mindset of adulthood and sex was of course common, but thinking on it now made him extremely uncomfortable. He loved Rei romantically. He just didn't see the necessity of sex, nor did he care to. Was that bad?

Nagisa functioned on auto-pilot, avoiding his best friend's worried looks as he clocked out and Gou took his place. The redhead said her hello's before switching to professional and polite. She took care of the register and more complicated orders while Nagisa cleaned and made more coffee. 

The industrial coffee maker was nearly bigger than him, sitting on the counter in the corner. He lifted the lid, took out the old coffee filter and made sure the rest of the old coffee drained in the sink. The barista watched the brown liquid swirl and mix with the running water, vaguely aware that Gou was working around him to finish an order of lattes. He poured in the design and huffed in irritation. It looked like an onion instead of a leaf. 

"Thanks," Gou snorted after the customer took their latte, "Beautiful latte art." 

The blond gave her a slight smile before turning back to the coffee maker. It was drained. 

"The timer is on the counter," Gou pointed to the small gadget, "I already set it." 

"Thanks." Nagisa offered and put in another batch of coffee grinds. 

He forced himself to pay attention to work, having taken an extra shift for Nitori. The register was leading a long line of tired college kids, so he gave Gou a short break from dealing with desperate, caffeine deprived zombies. Almost every order was for espresso shots and sugary drinks that would absolutely keep someone awake for a while, but then insuring a rapid crash. When a girl he recognized ordered a peppermint tea, he dropped the box of tea bags twice. 

No. His work place was supposed to be a place of rest, a place where the crushing hug of reality didn't touch him. He was a manager of a cafe, he made delicious drinks and could bake a mean muffin. Reminders of what he was terrible at were unwelcome, please vacate the building, the doors on your left,  _goodbye_.

"Nagisa," His coworker took over the transaction, "Could you get me three more raisin cookies from the freezer? I'll finish this one." 

Incredibly grateful that Gou was excellent at her job and intuitive enough not to ask "Are you okay?", Nagisa left for the kitchen. He opened the doors, put his face back into the cool air and steamed out a deep breath. 

His sexuality was a big question. He loved everything about Rei, but anything sexual made him queasy. Curiosity mostly fueled his desires to know Rei's body, inside and out, but anything further cut off his brain function. Don't go there, his brain supplied after a long minute. 

He grabbed the cookies (raisin, ew) and joined Gou back in the front, watching her juggle four drinks and laugh at jokes customers thought she'd enjoy. Pulling out the tray, sheet of wax paper, and baking weights, Nagisa laid out the cookies to thaw. 

"Mind taking a drink for me?" Gou asked, drizzling a complicated pattern on top of froth. "It's a chai latte." 

"No problem." This was something he could do and he was the best (debatable, Gou rocked the cafe). He knew coffee, he knew cookies, he knew people. He just didn't know himself. 

-

They were careful enough  _not_ to leave any visible hickeys, even over their chests as they would probably be swimming if the ocean was warm enough. But with the unspoken rule of 'no intimate touching' broken, it was harder than they thought it would be. Flashes of collarbones or a subtle lift of the hem of shirt sent both in a sweet frenzy to touch, to know, to caress so much that they were late to drop off Athena. 

Athena would be spending Spring Break with Nagisa, who was staying behind in the cafe to work more hours than ever, along with Rei who had to take Benadryl twice a day just to be around them. Makoto felt terrible, as Nagisa usually had his boyfriend over and Rei was allergic, but Rei assured he'd gladly have watery eyes to help him out. 

"D-Don't worry." Haru reassured and laced their fingers together. He gave Makoto a small smile, waving lazily to Nagisa who held onto Athena with an iron grip, standing a respectful distance away from his sniffling boyfriend. "She'll be fine." 

Makoto felt like they were dropping off their child at school for the first time and the anxiety burning low in his stomach just didn't want to fade. But with his boyfriend giving him support, he knew he would make it. Athena was a big girl and her and Nagisa would probably have a blast. 

"The train leaves soon," Makoto sighed and look to his watch, "If we miss it, we'll miss mom's dinner." 

"Then let's n-not miss it." Haru barked out a happy laugh, much brighter than usual. 

They arrived at the station, dipping in their metro cards for a moment before pushing through. After passing off their large blue tickets to be read, they were ushered into to a larger train that would take them to Iwatobi in just a few short hours. 

"Have you ever been on the coast?" Makoto asked, settling into a plastic and fabric covered chair that was much too small for him. "We're just a mile off the shore." 

"No," Haru looked out of the window, overlooking the bustling station. "I've aaaalways wanted t-to though." 

"Yeah, you love swimming so much," His boyfriend mused, smiling into his hand, imagining Haru's shocked expression when he finally looked out at the waves. "It might take some persuasion to get you back out!" 

Haru didn't deny it, but took out of book from one of his bags under their seats. Makoto copied, content to just read and lose himself in the happiness that always accompanied his thoughts of family and Haru. And this week, he'd have both. 

He couldn't wait. 

-

"She really likes you." Nagisa laughed, enjoying the small amount of pleasure he was getting out of Rei's suffering.

"Unfortunately." Rei commented back, unamused.

Athena was curled on his lap, perfectly content even over Rei's constant sneezes. The boy just worked on his assigned reading over Spring Break, enjoying the sound of Nagisa working in the kitchen. A new batch of cat cookies for Athena were a must-have and maybe a little bit of a bargaining chip for the goddess to behave. She loved Nagisa's treats and would absolutely play nice if it meant fattening up further.

"Do you have work tomorrow?" Rei momentarily bookmarked his page, putting aside the bloody angst fest that was the _Iliad_. 

Nagisa hummed for a moment, stirring together the treats. He looked over from the blocked off kitchen and nodded. 

"Yep!" 

His boyfriend visible deflated. 

"Oh alright. I just thought maybe you'd have at least  _some_ time off during Spring Break." 

Nagisa knew Rei didn't mean for the words to hurt, but they did anyway. He swallowed and disappeared back into the kitchen. After all, he was in charge of the schedules and shifts. He had a logical reason as to why he didn't give himself time off: Nitori and Makoto needed the week and Gou couldn't work alone. Sure, they had other employees, but they asked off a few days as well. He told himself it'd be irresponsible for the newest employee to work alone. 

"Sorry," He said instead of defending his choice. "We have all of tonight though." 

His stomach dropped suddenly when he took in the underlining of what that sentence could mean. The spoon fumbled from his fingers, clinking harshly against the glass bowl. Athena immediately shot out of Rei's lap to inspect, no doubt trusting that sound to meant dropped food. 

"You okay?" Rei was out of the living room, walking to the kitchen. Nagisa hurriedly opened the hot oven and smiled to his worried boyfriend. 

"I'm fine!" He prayed Rei would think his face was red because of the heat, "I'm almost done." 

Rei smiled and looked into the bowl, soon wrinkling his nose at the smell. Athena got up on her hind legs, trying to look on the counter. Rei carefully pushed her away. 

"Right, well," He coughed and pushed up his glasses. Nagisa calmly closed the oven door and prayed Rei didn't mention anything. "We could watch a movie." 

"Sounds fun!" Nagisa assured, nodding. He leaned on his tiptoes and kissed Rei's cheek, just to prove he was fine. For now. "You pick something out and I'll put dinner in after her treats." 

Athena laid on the floor, watching and tail twitching. 

-

Nitori was absolutely tickled to see Rin sunburnt and pouting on the beach.

Iwatobi was a small town, the type of town where everybody knew one another and helped in anyway possible. In short, Nitori loved it. The beach was not overcrowded, especially because of the cooler weather and tiny population. A few kids ran on the shore, parents trailing behind them with cameras and shouts to be careful. Only a few college-aged people were present, as the University over the hill was also on break, so most of the beach was reserved for locals. 

It was a nice mix of city and country. 

All-in-all, he didn't want to leave. 

"You burn real easily, don't you?" He told his boyfriend, who huffed and covered his face with his arms (not touching his skin because  _ouch_ ). 

"Shut up." 

"Just pointing it out. You should be careful, despite how adorable it is." Nitori teased, but was genuinely concerned. Rin's face was similar to the shade of his hair, light freckles he didn't know existed popping up. 

"Thanks, mom." Rin threw back, but he wasn't entirely annoyed. He scooted closer on the beach towel, happy to have the warmth of another person to protect from the slightly nipping winds. 

"So Makoto and Haru get in tonight, right?" Nitori looked up at the sun, imagined a clock. "It's not too late right now, is it? Are we doing something together?" 

Rin sat up, squinting despite the pain of moving his facial muscles. 

"No, they're hanging out with Makoto's family. It's a 'boyfriend meets the parents' thing." 

"Oh," Nitori felt embarrassed, "I didn't know." 

They had been dating for months now, but Nitori had yet to meet any of Rin's family, aside from Gou. Would he ever? He imagined they would, hoping they'd be together in the long run. He couldn't imagine himself without the irritable, honest redhead. 

"What are you thinking about?" Rin's tone was gruff, but concerned. Nitori's inside twisted and fluttered. 

"You," He answered honestly and the quick embarrassment of how silly he sounded followed with red cheeks. "Um, just you and me, this break. How much fun it'll be."

They were alone on the coast, together to share a room and dinner and the romantic atmosphere felt right. 

So Nitori took a deep breath and looked to the waves, grabbing Rin's offered hand.

"I... I love you, Rin." He didn't pause or look to his boyfriend. He'd lose his courage if he did. "I just wanted you to know that... I hoped you did." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just been overwhelmed recently with the feedback and such wonderful people leaving kind comments and asks. I literally cry over every single one. Truly, I'm so happy if my series has helped you in any way. That's why I write: for you. ^^
> 
> Anddd I feel like my updates are getting shorter.... I'm so sorry. It was mostly a filler and the beginning of Nagisa's woes. Yes, I am hinting that he is asexual, or at least demisexual. I didn't plan it, but somehow, it fits. I love him to death omg <3
> 
> I also wrote a little makoharu oneshot earlier. It's a dancer au, in 2nd person. I was just practicing, but I like how it turned out. You can read it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1388821) if you'd like some fluff. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Great things are made by a series of small things brought together." -Vincent Van Gogh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took three months to update, so as an apology, have a makoharu filled chapter. :)
> 
> Unedited, will be eventually. Sorry for mistakes.

A spatter of freckles and a pink nose later, Makoto couldn't keep in his laughter. Bags in the sand, shoes left behind, they stood in the surf with their hands clasped. Haru refused to move and Makoto wasn't about to make him. 

The waves sparkled with the fingertips of dawn hanging on the horizon and Makoto was absolutely delighted this was Haru's first picture of the ocean. In spite of the swooping fear in his stomach of the enormity of the sea, he couldn't help but admire its beauty. The breeze was gentle and a nice relief to their slightly burnt skin, but they still didn't move. Beams of golden and red light reflecting in Haru's eyes took Makoto's breath away and he almost didn't want it back. 

"Beautiful," He commented when Haru still stood transfixed after the sun disappeared. "Right?" 

Speechless, Haru only nodded and blinked back tears. He moved to wipe them away, Makoto's hand still in his. His boyfriend laughed softly and caressed his cheek when he was slightly less wet. 

"We can swim tomorrow," Makoto added, "The twins will want to swim with you." 

"W-What about yyyou?" Haru's voice was thick with emotion, the vision of the vermillion ocean overwhelming. "Swim w-with me?"

Makoto swallowed, but nodded. "Absolutely." Eyes crinkling and smiling without teeth, Makoto tugged on his hand. "We should get going. Mom probably has dinner ready." 

Haru tore his gaze away one last time and walked back to their luggage. 

"You can j-just walk h-home?" 

"Yep!" Makoto didn't bother with his shoes yet, taking both of their bags. "It's about a mile away, so we should start before it gets too dark. There's a hill." 

"I'm nervous," Haru admitted as they washed off their feet and slipped on their shoes, "But e-excited." 

"Me too," Makoto felt like kissing him again, happy Haru could confide in him without his asking. "I'm nervous, but not really. I know they'll love you. It's kind of that feeling when you're going down a steep hill and your stomach flips. It feels funny, but a good funny." 

Snorting, Haru squeezed his hand. Makoto alway rambled when he was nervous. "S-Same. But we'll be h-here all wwweek. Are y-you sure they're okay with t-that?" 

"Of course! They're so excited to meet you. Mom used to call every night for two weeks straight when we got together, begging to know more about you." Makoto felt his cheeks heat when Haru licked his lips and give a shy smile. "We can stay as long as we want, no problem."

"Spring Break is t-two weeks long." Haru reminded, "What are we doing o-once we leave?" 

Makoto shrugged, pulling Haru along to the large hill leading up to his house. Heart thumping in anticipation, he quickened his pace before pausing. 

"Whatever we want. We don't have to schedule anything." His voice softened and he pulled Haru aside from the road. His boyfriend immediately looked to his lips. "It'll be our week. I don't have work," He leaned closer until their noses bumped, "I don't have class." 

Haru hummed and put his arms around Makoto's neck, chest-to-chest. 

"Sound's good." 

-

"Wait," Haru pulled Makoto short from their front door, the echoes of laughter making his stomach drop. "R-R-Ran is your s-sister right? And Ren i-is your brother." 

Makoto nodded, smiling encouragingly. 

"They're both twelve," He took a step forward and Haru followed, growing paler with each inch. "And super excited to meet you. They under strict mom rules to be nice." 

Haru cracked a faint smile, but at the mention of Makoto's mother, he felt weak. 

He didn't know what to expect for his mother, having not too much of a stellar one himself for comparison. He knew Rin's mother, vaguely, but as his parents had spilt, it had been years. Remembering she lived in Iwatobi, Haru wondered if maybe the families had ever met before. Probably not. 

"Trust me," Makoto grabbed his hand, shouldering both their weekend bags, "You'll love them." 

His boyfriend nodded, but inside Haru panicked. Him liking them wasn't the problem. What if they hated him? 

But, he trusted Makoto with everything now, too in love to fall out, no matter what happened (he hoped). 

Before he knew it, Makoto was knocking on the door and the laughter cut off, replaced with high-pitched squeals. Haru gripped Makoto's hand, letting out a small gasp when the door slid open suddenly. 

A short girl in braids simply beamed at them, breathing heavily, no doubt running to the door. 

"Brother!" She shouted and launched into Makoto's arms. Haru quickly moved away, breaking their contact. 

"Ran!" Makoto laughed, "You're being rude." Despite his reprimand, he hugged her back. She slowly slid down, still grinning. 

Haru felt distinctly out of place. 

"This is Haru," Makoto took his hand again, feeling Haru's internal panic, "My boyfriend." 

"Hi!" Ran's smile didn't falter once, taking in Haru with bright eyes. "It's so nice to meet you." 

"Y-Y-You t-too." Haru wanted to go back to beach where he didn't have to talk to people. 

"Brother!" Another body flung at Makoto, but this time he was prepared and caught his little brother. Ren was close to Haru's shoulder, arms around Makoto in a big bear hug. 

Makoto slid him down much like he had his sister. Ren bounced on the front step, next to his sister. 

"You missed the introduction," Ran informed him, twirling a braid and looking at Haru from the side. "This is Haru." 

"H-Hi." Ren stuttered, obviously a bit more shy than his sister.

Out of breath and courage, Haru only nodded. Makoto, sensing the oncoming silence, spoke up. 

"So! Let's go in and say hi to mom and dad." 

Ran took a bag, Haru's, and led them to the living room, Ren closing the front door behind them. 

"Mom is finishing your room," Ran said, "The laundry only just dried. Dad forgot about to put the sheets in the dryer." 

" _Again_ ," Ren sounded scandalized, "This is the fourth time it's happened in two weeks."  _  
_

"Fifth," Ran whispered, laying the bag down and turning to Haru, face slightly pink. "So... brother said you've never been to the beach. Would you... like to go swimming tomorrow?"

Asking for silent help, Haru squeezed Makoto's hand, not expecting such a bold little girl. 

"We were going to invite you two first," Makoto answered, "I don't remember if I told you, but Haru is a really good swimmer." 

"Really?" Ren peeped up, his shyness fading a smidgen, "That's so cool." 

Haru nodded, "I g-guess." 

Makoto bumped his shoulder, "He's an amazing swimmer. Taught me, in fact." 

The twins gaped, eyes wide. 

"Even we know how to swim!" 

"I thought I heard voices." A gentle, soft voice interrupted the twin's surprise, making each turn their head towards the far off hallway. 

Mrs. Tachibana was a small, adorable woman with brown hair peppered with gray. Her eyes were smiling, long hair flowing over her shoulders, nearly the same color as Ran's. Haru was in awe of such a happy, beautiful woman.

"Welcome home, Makoto." She said, walking to her oldest son and pulling him in for a hug and good peck on the cheek (he had to bend down, probably routine). "You must be Haruka. I can't believe I'm already meeting you, this is so wonderful."

Haru froze when she wrapped him in a hug, smelling like fresh laundry, of course, and flowers. She pulled back, practically glowing with happiness.

"Nice to meeeeet y-you too." He replied, feeling he was obligated to make an attempt for her. He loved her already, barely able to breathe. 

"My husband will be home any minute, so excuse his absence." Mrs. Tachibana said, a hand on Haru's cheek, "But oh my goodness, look at your eyes!" She turned to Makoto, who was flushed, "You were right, sweetie, they really are beautiful. Such a bright blue!" 

"Mom..." Makoto muttered, throat tight with embarrassment. 

Ren snorted, while Ran sighed happily, staring up at Haru's eyes with her mother. 

"T-Thank you." Haru felt his own face match Makoto's. 

Mrs. Tachibana grinned then turned to her youngest. 

"Ren, would you set the table? And Ran, get the drinks?" 

The twins nodded and marched to the kitchen, whispers and giggling all the way, both looking back until they disappeared through a door. 

"I made salad and Italian. I wasn't sure if you liked or disliked anything, but it seemed safe, Haruka." 

"N-No, it sounds great." 

"He's not picky," Makoto said, picking up their bags again. "We're going to get set up. My room, right?" 

"Yes," Mrs. Tachibana gave them a quick look before walking to the kitchen, "It's all the room we have, I hope you don't mind sharing." And with that, she too disappeared through a door, no doubt to supervise her children. It had been a little too quiet. 

Makoto let out a nervous laugh. 

"Right, I don't think I mentioned. We're sharing." He said, leading Haru down the hallway and up a staircase. "Hope you don't mind."

Haru felt his chest expand, "Not at all." His heart was pounding still from the introductions, so he didn't pay attention until Makoto opened a door. 

"Well, this is it." Makoto cleared his throat, stealing a glance at his boyfriend, "My old room." 

It wasn't like he expected. They were a few posters, a kitty calendar (" _Oh my god_ I told her to take that down."), and a full-sized bed by the window. Everything was green or orange, sheets, pillows, and the few pictures on the wall. His window overlooked an alley, an in bloom flower box under the sill. 

"N-Nice," Haru smiled and walked to the kitty calendar. He turned slowly, not bothering to hide his amusement. "This is only a year old." 

Makoto blushed to the roots of his hair. 

-

Dinner was... something. Mr. Tachibana was also not what Haru expected, asking very general, kind questions and even cracking a few jokes (Ren howled with laughter). The food was amazing, Haru overwhelmed by the taste and atmosphere of a happy family. He wanted to sob with jo, he was so relieved. 

Under the table, Makoto held his hand and tried to swirl pasta onto his fork with his left hand, failing so much Haru let him go with an impish look. 

After the meal, Mrs. Tachibana insisted Haru bathe first, the twins arguing until Makoto promised to play video games with them. 

It was the fastest bath of his life. In spite of feeling welcome with the Tachibana's, it was still weird bathing in someone else's house. After ten minutes of fiddling with the different knobs, he finally figured out how to work the shower and raced through the works. Mrs. Tachibana had left him a blue towel, a cartoon dolphin stitched on the front. Haru smiled all the way back to Makoto's bathroom. 

Apparently interrupting an intense match of Mario Kart, Haru waited until Makoto was thrown off course by a green shell, courtesy of a very loud and vicious twelve year old girl, before sitting down. Makoto gave him a quick kiss on the cheek with the twins were distracted and then got back on the road, whining about how shells were the worst, come on Ran. 

For a long time, they played, Haru watching, simultaneously scared and amused by the twin's nefarious actions. Makoto lost over twenty times until he finally called it quits. 

"To the bath," He shooed them, "It's already super later. You're lucky mom let you stay up this late." 

Haru looked to the clock, shocked to see it was already eleven o'clock. 

Closing the door after his siblings, Makoto sighed and gave Haru an apologetic smile. 

"Thanks for indulging them," He moved to sit next to Haru, resting his head on Haru's shoulder in spite of the height difference and what was most likely an uncomfortable angle. "20 questions over dinner isn't exactly easy. And they'll probably have more by tomorrow."

Feeling better now that he had a few hours to settle and calm himself, Haru shrugged. 

"It's okay. It was f-fun." 

Beaming, Makoto sat up and gave him a chaste kiss before leaning back. 

"Thank you. For coming, I mean. My family can be a bit of a handful, so I'm really grateful." 

"Not at all," Haru reassured, dragging him back for another kiss, "T-They're great." 

Makoto fell over him, pushing him into the bed, hands already wandering. Haru felt his body grow hot, but ignored the nagged feeling in the back of his mind. 

Making out was  _much_ more important.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters left. If I manage to get everything I wanted to write, written of course. Probably not.
> 
> Sorry for taking such a long break wow, go ahead, slay me. And for it to end in such a way... well that just means we have something good to look forward to, right?


End file.
